a perfect stand still

i wish i could just write again - just unclog my writer's block and write. something beautiful and painful. i want to document now and many steps back and all my steps forward. but i got nothing but stopping to smile at how utterly wonderful and bloody and raw and true this is. and not even truly true because there is still so much more we hold under sleeves. they don't get it and i don't always get it either. but i do and it just is. and it could be more but not now. this is fine for now. because we know without saying. and we dance around it but we still dance. hidden in our little world of combinations. hearts are plump and whole. enveloped in beams. in our hands. we're done and undone. if you're wondering

publish my love

"Sailor?"
"Uh huh?"
"Recall the time we was sittin' one night behind the Confederate soldier? Leaning against it. And you took my hand and put it on your heart and you said, 'You feel it beatin' in there Lula get used to it 'cause it belongs to you now.' D'you recall that?"
"I do."

Lula put her head down in Sailor's lap and he stroked her smooth black hair.

"I was hopin' you would. I know that night by heart. Sometimes, honey? I think it's the best night of my life. Really."

(from Barry Gifford's "Wild At Heart")
____




"i love u but can only give u words"

ne touche pas

hold me

hold me



photo courtesy of emilie bjork
courtesy of a cup of jo

Let the Social Networking Wars Begin!

Oh yes....this is too rich!

Love It or Hate It?

I don't know, man! It just doesn't feel right!

And Lori Loughlin? And "Lucile Bluth!?"

i'm going to be an aunt!

Ok, so not by blood but more like childhood BFF blood, naw' mean? Recently found out that a childhood friend has a bun in the oven and it has hit me that we are getting older and now have friends who are starting to bake their buns in their ovens...or something.

It was a shock, natch, but it is kind of exciting now. I will be honest, it was so weird touching Danielle's belly. She is 4 months along and I felt around her underbelly...oh lord...i felt it...like REALLY felt the baby! Kind of disgusting and awesome at the same time.

We met up with her yesterday and caught up after years of estrangement. Photo op galore! Baby Dorian James...your Aunt Liza and Aunt Z are kooks. We may be weirded out by you at first but we still love you.

First photos of Dorian. Supposedly that glowing speck in the bottom left photo is his peen...

Yeah, it has a spine. Pretty crazy! Aunt Liza wants that top one in wallet size

Reunited and it feels so good

Danielle says baby D is a kicker. I really wanted him to kick my ear.

We're having a baby!
When I was younger I would put my cat in my shirt and pretend I was 'carrying' a cat. It would squirm and I would think that is how it feels to be preggers...except I could lift up my shirt and make the squirming go away. Danielle has to deal with squirming for 9 months.

Just so that we are clear on the positioning of the child...

Pants Party!

This video is pretty riddick! Could be a jean ad stunt but I love it regardless!

mama gorbel done tol' you

ride in peace

I got a bike! I finally did it! I've been super addicted to riding even though I haven't been on a bike in so long. I woke up super early this weekend just to go for a ride while there were minimal cars on the road and through the prettier neighbourhoods in the area. Checking out the pretty little houses is always fun, especially when you can stop and gawk for a bit and easily stop to smell the roses, literally.

After that I headed over to the Hollywood Forever cemetery since it is right by my apartment. It was finally open at 7ish so I rode in. It was nice and quiet. I got to say hello to the peacocks and the ducks...and the headstones of those who died in the early 1900's. They were all the way in the back, dilapidated and small. Oddly enough, the girl who is afraid of death enjoyed being around the graveyard and saying hello to headstones, wondering how the young ones died, telling this one and that one that I admire their name.

I wish I took pictures but none from that ride.

Rode to work today for the first time. It was kind of scary but fine minus the angry homeless man who blocked my way on the sidewalk and proceeded to yell at me in front of Kings Road Cafe right in front of the breakfasters. Then he threw his cigarette at me. I didn't know what to say. I didn't say anything bc he was close to pushing me. I just rode off and slinked away into a a little neighbourhood, in shock for a bit. I almost started to cry but stopped myself. He could've done worse and I'm sure I will encounter worse since LA drivers aren't too fond of bike riders...nor are some of the pedestrians. Lame.

hehehehe

veronicaaaaa!

How AMAZING does Kristen Bell look in this Vanity Fair photo? Ahhh! She is just one of my favourite people (yes, I'm a Veronica Mars geek and I ain't ashamed of that). Cezie, if you're seeing this, drool with me! Oh to have those photoshopped legs...but you know, something comparable.

I ran into her at Bossa Nova on Sunset once and practically died but had to play it cool. And to top it off, she was with "Dick Casablancas" (fellow VMer). Now if I can only run into "Logan Echolls"...

noses in books

So I started a new project. I've been really into the blog called People Reading and wanted to create a sister site. Sonya, of People Reading, gave me her blessing and even encouraged it so I bring you Noses In Books. While People Reading is San Francisco based, I've decided to explore literary Los Angeles. Check it out. I hope to hunt for more interviewees today and get more content.

Enjoy!

The Good and The Bad

My boss had blogged about watching a Diane Sawyer interview he watched on Dr. Pausch, a 47 year old Carnegie Mellon professor who is dying of Pancreatic cancer. In the interview, Dr. Pausch is shown tucking his kids into bed and each night he asks them what the best thing about their day was and the worst.

I don't know many people who, at the end of their day, reflect on how their day went. I was, however, reminded of when I would go over the "mitzvah" I did that day before I went to bed and sometimes would talk about it on the phone with my sister during afternoon talks. A mitzvah, by the way, is "a good deed" in Hebrew. And no, I am NOT Jewish, just a pretend one.

Anyway, I guess that is similar to the "best and worst" nightly reflection. So, what was the best thing about my day today? Hmmm that is a tough one. I mean, my day went rather smoothly, I lunched with one of my favourite former co-workers...but I think the thing I would nominate is that I had an amazing 1-on-1 meeting with my boss. We have these bi-weekly sit downs and I do remember walking out of his office smiling because it was a good talk, very inspiring, got me excited about things again!

The worst? Hmmmm another tough one. I didn't have a shitty day, really. If I had to choose...I get really hard on myself about not being able to "do" alot of things or I do something but then I should've carried it out a step or two further. It's a very defeating feeling, the "Damn, I should've done that! Why didn't I think of that first? I thought of that but why didn't I go through with it??" I had a few moments of that today. So I guess that was a "worst". That and still having this cold/cough. I just want it to be over!

What was your best and worst today?

sickbed

I don't have a thermometer so the next best thing was the food thermometer in the kitchen drawer. Picture me clutching that thing trying to figure out how hot I was. I was breaking 100. PTFO'd after that.

Flu hallucinations are always fun. During that first night of high temperatures I was accompanied by 10 fever fairies. Each swore they would jump off my island bed (and lower my temperature) after each performed a task and I would have to help. I kept saying (outloud) and arguing that all i wanted to do was sleep, that I needed them to just go away. They performed their task and hour after hour each left me. I would wake up and my fever would be slightly lower and I felt closer to being "alone". Finally, one fever fairy was left and I just didn't have the strength to deal with it. It kept making be tie some knots or stitch some badge. I wasn't having it. I told it to do it for me. After seeing I'd given up, final fever fairy finished the task and left. I was alone in bed, temperature lower, sweating, weak, thirsty, and hungry.

That was a pretty intense night. Fever fairies...for real.

New Mates of State video

This video brings me joy (and kind of disturbs me) in my flu-infected state. And it's called, "Get Better" so I will take that personally!

Mags' cameo is too cute.

I need a furry animal mask/costume...that isn't my Tigger costume. I'd like to be a bunny.

Mates of State - "Get Better"

random run-in: animal edition

Soooooo yeah. I'm walking next door to Vegan Express for lunch today and hear some random noises. My co-worker thinks it's a baby and I thought it was just a random weed whacker in the distance. But lo and behold the sounds came from a GOAT IN THE BACKSEAT OF A KIA PARKED IN THE LOT!!!! I noticed random movement so I was compelled to run over to check it out, obvs.

A goat

A goat in the backseat of a random sedan. It...it made my freakin' day! This is totally better than Madame Poulet, although she was "ours". (R.I.P)

Turns out Billy the Kid is the pet of a couple dining in Vegan Express' patio.

Seriously...MADE MY DAY!

random run-in

A friend of mine was in town last week to celebrate his birthday. He had left LA for a few years now so it was also a reunion/gathering of sorts. The event went down at the pirate bar Downtown (The Redwood) so that was an added bonus since I'd been meaning to check it out. I had heard so much about it and had envisioned it to be this setting where I walk in and there is some enclosed body of water and I have to walk up a plank to get to the actual pirate boat bar! Alas, it was nothing like what I had dreamed it would be but it was fun nonetheless. Still, I think my idea is pretty sweet.

The birthday boy is a manager and I had known he managed an acapella group but never knew much about it. Night goes on and I meet the different members of the group (George and Paul mainly) and I kept hearing about a Phil and a Sam. Heard they were on Scrubs but still didn't think much of it. They were going to sing Happy Birthday acapella so I was excited. "Phil is on his way but Sam is here". I look over and see Sam at the bar and the guys call him over so that I could meet him. Turns out Sam is "Ted" from Scrubs! I watch Scrubs but not enough to be super familiar with the ins and outs but I knew who Ted was and it all made sense. The Acapella group is that same one on the show! "Ted's Band" (or The Blanks in real life). So weird but so cool!

(The Blanks serenade Sloaty-pie)

(Paul, Sam, and I)

(Adam Sloat and I)

Book Club!

Lordy lordy! In the midst of bitching about what I feel are the horribly forced metaphors and wishy-washy plot, et. al in the current book I'm reading (Bel Canto by Ann Patchett) for a Book Club I'm thinking of partaking in me and the guys have decided to start our own Book Club! I mean, we were already discussing Edith Wharton (my love, one of his "dislikes") and how Giovanni's room (James Baldwin) is making one of them want to slit their wrists in a good way after I suggested he read one of my all time faves of mine so it was only natural to start our own little Book Club Coalition of sorts. Bryan, Paul, Christopher, and I. It's going to be interesting, heavy @ times, and nothing less of awesome!

Kick off meeting on Saturday during brunch! We decide what book numero uno will be. Yip!

20? Really?

20

Randomness that I found on Big Action!

1,2,3,4

So I will be honest. I don't know what to do with babies. I am not really a baby person. I don't fawn over them. I see that your baby is cute but don't ask me to hold them. I am afraid to hold them! It is just too much responsibility. Don't entrust me to babysit your offspring. I am far from the whole mothering thing. And baby videos. I don't get them! They plague America's Funniest Videos and YouTube and I just don't get how they are watched and loved by millions and millions of viewers! Simple videos of laughing babies are HITS but I still don't get why. However, I can't stop falling in love with this video of Mags (Mates of State offspring) doing her rendition of Feist's "1,2,3,4" (and notes that Feist doesn't count right, not in video but blogged about on her mommy's blog). It's a cute video. It doesn't weird me out. It wins in my book!

speechless

Most times I have no control of what I say...well, scratch that. I think it's really the poor execution. After I say things outloud it's like I can visualize these empty spaces that ought to be filled because all that's spewing out are these blunt chunks. And it's horrible. Maybe I just need more gusto. Maybe I need to take a speech class or conversation class because I am realising more and more that I also interrupt people and I just keep thinking how rude I must sound. Like, I will talk over them and cut them off. I also do this thing where I have these pauses because I will forget words. Just pause in mid-sentence a bit. Motherboard overload or something. It's so weird. And bad. Maybe it's nerves in certain situations? And to think I did public speaking in high school.

I'm just low on gusto.

Happy HAARP Day

Mmmmm Muse. I went to the MUSE DVD screening @ the Vista last night. I don't think I've ever been to a DVD viewing party before so it was cool to watch it at one of my favourite theaters in LA. And I've never seen MUSE live (ugh....I know, I know, lay off me!) so this was kind of like it? Ok, who am I fooling. It's a totally different experience and who am I to even compare concert footage to the actual LIVE experience! But it was still fun...I'm just sayin' in all! Now, if they had made it some sort of IMAX experience, THAT my friends, would've be quite a sight to see. At least the sound quality wasn't shitty and our seats and sodas were vibrating nonetheless.

Great show from as much as I sat through. The production was insane! I mean, once you see them rising from the walkway a mile away from the actual stage you know right then and there that this ain't gonna be a silly nanny concert! And I'm not gonna lie, the band looked scrumptious. Seriously, rockstar status can make any scrawny boy look yummy! And it isn't just me who thinks Chris resembles a hybrid of Jeremy Piven and Chris Joannou of silverchair, right? Absolute hybrid! (In the footage, at least)

Final thoughts? I am always amazed at how much power rockers have over throngs of people. You see those kids in the front rows just belting the lyrics out after standing in those pits for hours. True dedication.

And part of me thought the screening was some April Fool's joke where they make you sit in a theater with a handful of meat heads being obnoxious for the whole hour before the lights go out...like some episode of the Twilight Zone where you have to endure these guys who just won't...shut...the...fuck....up! Just absolute meatheady fratty mcfratterson brobrahs surrounding us from every corner of the small theater...closing in on us...for what seemed like an eternity!

Other than that, fun times all around. We bobbed our heads. We stamped our feet. We clapped and sang along. Part of me wanted to get up and start jumping around like I was one of those kids sweating up against all the bodies around me, just rockin' out.

Yeah, I need to go to a show again soon...or just be in the mood to go out dancing one night.

liza-ism #436

If you're run-over by a speeding ambulance rushing over to an emergency sitch, will they stop to help you or drive on to their assignment/destination and send help?

oh those japanese...

...they think of everything!

Just one of the many videos the circulated in the office this morning. I think the Bruce Springsteen one is my favourite.

Earth Hour

Find out a little more about tomorrow's Earth Hour on my blog Green Du Jour

It's a cool event and you're welcome to join in!

Twit Twit!

I finally gave in to Twitter. I can't explain why I put it off or why I am on board now. I know I'm a bit late but I'm here and that's that! Won't you join me? Let's broadcast the minutia of our lives together!

i'm in love

I finally decided to watch this movie (I missed it in theaters) and I think I am in love. Ok, I don't think I am in love, I KNOW I'm in love with this beautiful cult movie. Insert happy sigh here. It's so refreshing. Ahhhhh. So lovely!

In a weird morbid way it comforted me. I am so afraid of death and dying and watching this movie kind of made me wish the afterlife was...not as horrifying just like that. Just normal, you know? Seamless. But I'd like to be able to smile unlike them. I know the movie is all make believe but it's nice to have your own security blanket, right? People have Heaven. Why can't I have my pretty little make believe world?

Aside from my morbid aspirations, you need to watch this movie if you haven't already! I want to find a used copy of this DVD to have for my own. And the soundtrack, too! Let me just drive off aimlessly with it playing! Maybe up the 101 or something.

global exchange store

I want to give a little shout-out to the online store/non profit my sister works with! Global Exchange is a Fair Trade Program that works to successfully market fairly traded products in order to provide a fair price and improve the quality of life for producers and artisans, and to build a more sustainable system of trading goods all around the world! Check out the different products they have on the site. There's alot of cute stuff from different co-ops around the world.

If you're going to buy things, why not purchase socially conscious items?
My sister is one of the people modeling the wares. Guess which one she is...

Shop now!

Read their blog, too!

plaid party!

I've been having a shit-sandwich couple of weeks and was glad to get out and be around good people. Jose was in town so his presence, even for a little bit, lifted mein spirits.

I went to my former co-worker's housewarming @ her new loft this past weekend and I really want one of my own! One day....one day.

Mike K and Noah's plaid threw me off.

We all decided to get on board the plaid party train for solidarity


I take on a bejeweled accordion

oh sarah marshall

(Photo courtesy of ihatesarahmarshall.com)

I have been putting off writing about the Sarah Marshall billboards for a few weeks. I've just been enjoying observing the efforts from the sidelines and now I feel compelled to say something. Now I will commence the rambling...

Not sure if many of you have seen these billboards all around time. They are plastered everywhere, even buses and the like.

"I hate Sarah Marshall"

"You SUCK, Sarah Marshall!"

"My Mother never even liked you anyway, Sarah Marshall"

etc. etc. Just white billboard, black lettering. Tiny URL on the side. A few weeks ago I made a mental note to myself to check out the site when I got home from my drive.

http://www.ihatesarahmarshall.com
Check it out

It's a blog "written" by character Peter Bretter pretty much as an obsessed ex-boyfriend. Lovely, it happens to be a new movie (I thought it was a TV show at first) Forgetting Sarah Marshall, with my faves, Jason Segel and Kristen Bell.

Ok, seeing as Jason Segel wrote the script is it safe to say that he is obsessively updating this hate blog, too? It would be nice to think that he is.

And everytime I come back to the site I like to ponder how amazingly far and in depth they are going for this ad. Simple traditional billboard prompting one to check out the site out of sheer curiousity.

They even shot these staged photos of "Peter" tagging up the city and buying billboard space. And they even shot tabloid-tv show-esque footage where Peter is interviewed about his tactics.
(Currently at 20, 951 views). Click on his director's page to see what else he has on there. Naturally they made sure to stock up his director page with other videos to look more convincing. Handful of video diaries started 2 weeks ago.

Many candid photos. They even have sister sites (www.sarahmarshallfan.com) and a video site only for 18+ year olds (because it leads to the official movie site and the movie is rated R) which of course I can't get into because they can't validate my over 18-ness properly.

In a nutshell, do I like this ad campaign? Yeah, I'm enjoying it and have been frequenting these various spaces. I enjoy them more than the actual tv ads. It is nice to see them utilizing these web properties and I give a kudos to them for keeping things updated properly. Probably because they have the budget and willing participants. I mean, hell, they are going all out and it's pretty damn amazing that they are pulling it off, ball out, taking their budget and running with it!)

But how many more of these types of campaigns are we going to see?

I read this article in a marketing blog about how the author of the article hated microsites. His musings may not fit well with this campaign but I think he is right that in many brainstorm meetings now, people are always suggesting creating these pages, these blogs, these youtube videos, etc. They see it worked for past TV shows and some movies and it's what's in now, right? So why not! They want to bank on this not-so-novel idea. But to unknowing audience eyes this is pretty damn creative. (And don't get me wrong, I love what they are doing! They are embracing these web properties to their advantage)

I love that these same people who were afraid to do such things are embracing every bit of it now. And there are new ideas brewing right now, being tried out by others who want to take the risk with their product while others are wary. But when it works the latter will want in. It's wonderful.

What is going to be the new big thing? Maybe that Rolling Rock ad where they were going to try to get the logo on the moon? Did that happen already? Because if not then I want to look up at the sky that night. And if it did go down, did people even look? Will they have fake videos on their microsite with their "attempt"?

I'm just sayin'...

I like this ad

I was going through my Google Reader and one of my friends posted this ad in her blog:

I love it! I even watched it a second time to make sure they weren't pulling my leg.

Then, as I continued to go through Google reader, I notice the same ad on Seth Godin's blog.

It's a brilliant idea! I wonder how much this video ad cost to make? I wonder how many people have posted it or passed it on since I've been typing this post. Right now it is at 41,472 views. Engaged views (if they are like me and re-watched it a second time). I should check back at noon.

[Watch the original version here]


Addendum: It is 6:14pm and the view count is now: 72,957

Coveting My Neighbours

I like to peruse the blogs on my Blogger dashboard and I covet this blog: People Reading

The blogger writes about San Francisco's reading habits. I love the idea! I love her style! And works great for book recommendations for me, too! I drowned in it last night and absolutely adore it.


Another goodie lately? Paris Daily Photo

It gives me my daily Parisian fix (along with my Google homepage's real-time Eiffel Tower camera). The photos make me miss the city, how much I love its little nuances that I oh-so-loved getting lost in. Sigh, I wish I could afford to go back.

Music Musings

My boss wrote an entry in his blog about the state of the Music Industry in response to Seth Godin’s address to said industry. It got me thinking about the “good ol’ days, too, when I (and perhaps many like me) was excited about music. Don’t get me wrong, I love music and can’t live without it but I do remember a time when I was truly excited in this whole different way. It was this sincere love and passion that was...I dunno...compared to digging your hands into the soil. It was when music was something you can possess but in a tangible sense.

Remember New Music Tuesdays? When was the last time we were all truly excited and anticipated Tuesdays? I remember when I was a kid and I would scope out Rolling Stone and other music mags alike, when the radio was always on and I’d feverishly call radio stations to play the songs I loved and befriend DJs because they ruled the airwaves, they played the soundtracks of my life! It was a time when I religiously watched MTV (when music actually reigned that network) and other music channels. Remember “The Box”? You know, the channel where you call in and request a music video and you wait for it to come on? I’d watch the bottom right of the tv screen and would squeal when I saw the code of my favourite artist. My VCR was ready to record the video so that I could watch it over and over again. This was before the internet, before YouTube where I can watch any music video with a click of a button. Tuesdays would be days I’d beg my mother to drive me to Tower Records or the Wherehouse. Sometimes I would even march block after block to these stores and raid the new music racks. All my allowance money was spent on new tunes! Man, those were the days!

I guess times have changed. Ok, I don’t “guess”. Times have changed. These stores that supplied me with my weekly fix are pretty much defunct. We get our music at electronic stores, Target, and online. Most of the time we don’t even BUY our music – we download them before actual release dates or have our friends burn them. Hell, I work with the music industry and reap the benefits of promo cds or I can just ask someone because we all know someone who is in the band or knows the band, etc. etc. And we get our music that way. We work for people who want the public to buy their products but we don’t want to support the cause. Is it because we don’t have to? We’re in the system so why pay? But new music is pricey, too. (We all know what spiel). It's all about "instant". That excitement and anticipation is out the window. Many of us don't even set foot in record stores. Just click on over to Amazon and your cd will be at your door in a few days. Want your tunes sooner? Hit up iTunes and you'll get your music within seconds! And this music isn't even tangible! Everything is digital. The only thing tangible is the actual player.

When was the last time I purchased a CD? Just today I looked in my mailbox when I got home and found a CD from an acquaintance in the band Loverlee. Justin sent me a cd and I didn't want to get it for free because I wanted to support the band so I paid for shipping. But I should've just paid for the whole CD if I wanted to support the band...

Funny how I will spend all my measly allowance on CDs every week but now, with a steady paying job, I won't even pay for a CD. Ahhhh!

The new Mates of State album drops in May. May 20th, if I remember correctly. And I am fuckin' excited! I rarely get excited for New Music Tuesday but here I am circling the date in my calendar. Big fat red circle! Why am I compelled to purchase their album and not other music that is out in stores now? Because I've been in love with them for years!
But I've loved the band silverchair sine HS and when their latest album came out....I don't think I even actually bought it! I think I got my hand on the mp3s somehow and the rest is history.

But yeah, MOS makes my heart smile. However, I do feel this connection to them. I know they aren't on a major label and I know they gave up alot to live out their dream to make music. They are the cutest couple! I follow Kori's blog on Babble.com . I was happy for them when I heard they were pregnant with Magnolia. I was happy for them when I found out about the birth of their second daughter, June. I know about their hardships. I know I want to purchase their cds and all the merchandise I can to help pay for their mortgage, their travel expenses, their baby's food, their cat -- everything! I PAY for my concert tickets instead of call in a favour. I want to give them my money!

Maybe that is what we need. We want to feed connected. We don't want fluff. Bands don't need to jump through hoops for us.

It was interesting today as a few of us were driving back from lunch, Jillian (Taking Back Sunday's manager) was talking about the music industry, how festivals here need to be a certain way, how there isn't enough money to do this or that, how times are scary but she wants to really help make sure things remain interesting and fresh for her clients and for the fans. Times are a'changin' and she wonders how the upcoming TBS album will do in this post-emo state in music. She's up for the battle.

People do want to help change the system but it's tough. If a band doesn't reap what they should, the people who helped back them jump ship. No time to fix things. No time to be creative. Need to make money. Need to keep our jobs.

Is it like some accident or incident of some kind where you drive/pass by and see something wrong and you know you should stop and help but you can't because you have yourself to think about? Can't risk getting involved?

I don't know...

Friday Night Lights

Little Tokyo escapades was pretty fab, as usual. Met some random people along the way...

Nirf's set was awesome but I wish they played their old stuff

Did I mention that I got my hair cut again? Super short in the back. Oh and I have horrible posture

These random guys shared their unfiltered sake with us. Arigato!

I know, seriously. She had on the full-blown hoop-shirted-french maid outfit. I felt like I was in Harajuku or something.

Magic Marker Madness. I want a marker 'stache! Some people have all the luck

Hiro always makes this face in pictures. Bonzai!

I am a karaoke princess-san!



Bryan is a shark. To the left, reader-san

I got in major trouble for chewing gum and dancing. The owner hated me. I'm trouble.

Hiro sang "Welcome to the Jungle". He screeched the high notes...seriously ridic and legit

Hiro and Polo sand some Japaense song alled "Puffy". Shrug.

weekend recap

Anyone else in LA notice how absolutely gorgeous it was all weekend? The lovely weather prompted me to recover from my crazy Friday Night (more on that later...) and live like I was in San Francisco or Paris again. We drive enough in this city anyway. So I put on some comfy shoes, packed my reusable Starbucks thermos (in case I wanted some iced green tea), and my cameras (one digital and one manual) and set out for the LA street. I really had no idea where I was going but I was going somewhere with all the time in the world. If I got tired then I could always hop on a bus.
Great weather, great to peek into abandoned buildings, great to rest in thrift stores and find a comfy chair that I eventually bought (yes, it's my new favourite thing in my apartment. Thank you, Ann, for picking me and my new/old chair up!)
After dropping my chair off at home, we ended up driving to what was supposed to be my walking destination: Barnsdall Art Park in Los Feliz. My elementary school is across the street from it and I remember taking filed trips up there before they closed it off for renovations (and what I thought was construction of a metro station...).
It was gorgeous up there with the view of the city. Moments like that made me adore the city. My trip also ignited my "need a new hobby" flame and I may end up taking some sort of art class there. I'm thinking ceramics even though I really want to take a children's papier mache class. (They refuse to let me even after I begged).

I got restless again on Sunday and after lunching with mom we got on the freeway and I just drove south on the 101, not really knowing where I was going. It was so pretty out that I proposed a trip to the Griffith Observatory (since I hadn't been since they re-opened it). Since you can't park up at the top we had to park on the side of the road and hike up. FUN! No, really, it was. I did, however, get dizzy the higher up I got.

The Observatory seemed much smaller than I remembered. I loved how excited my mom got with the telescopes outside. She just kept shoving quarters in and looking out towards Downtown LA or the Hollywood sign.

The planetarium show was really fun (but it kind of made me sick, it was so dizzying). And I must say that I actually enjoyed the younger children there. It was cute to hear this kid next to me get super excited before the show because he actually thought we were heading off to the moon! No kidding! When he saw some guys go into the show's control room he thought it was the captains cockpit or something. The kid totally killed me. He was so into it! The teenagers on the other side of me, on the other hand, were really annoying and it made me really sad to think that I was probably that annoying and saying those really dumb things. It pained me to my very core to listen to them. It also scared the hell out of me to think that I will have to endure putting up with that if I ever decide to have children.


Yes, a very touristy weekend of sorts for me. Next weekend I may hop on one of those Hollywood tour buses and tell folks I'm from some random place like Canada or South Africa or some Asian country and pretend I don't speak Engrish.


My face looks quite chubby in that left photo. A chubby Asian tourist.

ebe

The darlings from Everybody Else finally released their video for "Meat Market". Everytime I hear this song I always want to walk into a room just like they do here. Now if only I could snap my fingers properly. I could always just fake it.

"No One"

My friend, Brian Lerner, has been filming Jarrod from The Honorary Title, and this is the latest gem from the vault: Jarrod covering Alicia Keys' "No One". Swoon fest, for sure.



And while you're at it follow the band's tour blog on Fuse. They are too funny.

what's new pussycat?

This song has been stuck in my head all morning...and everyday of my life!

i want my mommy

For the past few months I've been having these dreams where my mom leaves me. Just up and leaves! Premise is always the same:
- she packs up and leaves without telling Z and I
- we scour the ends of the earth for her
- when we find her she denies having run away then sneaks away the next chance she gets
- she remarries some creepy guy
- she starts a new family
- she doesn't want to have anything to do with us anymore

Scenarios will be different but it's always the same plot some way or another. And I wake up horrified at the thought of losing her! Death becomes this major cloud looming over my head and I panic and cry. Losing my mom terrifies me. The idea of dying myself is also terrifying.

I missed my mom alot today because I had another one of those dreams last night, and thought about how I couldn't stand being away from her. When I was younger, I'd cling to her leg, curl up by her tummy in bed and listen to her pulse/heartbeat. Then I'd hear stories about how that was the only way I'd fall asleep as a baby - on her chest listening to her heartbeat. I'd always hold her hand in public. I'd hug her incessantly and tell her I loved her. We'd build forts in the living room every Friday night and camp out there, with snacks and rented movies. We were this trio and were all each other had - still are, really.

Then Z and I grew up and it was uncool to do all that with mom anymore. And it made it harder to be affectionate. Our family is not really big on openly hugging and telling each other we love them. It's like a cultural thing. So now that we were older it made it harder to just pick us up and shower us with kisses and make us giggle.

I wanna go back to that, to be young again, sans souci. To be in an innocent bubble. A time when I called my mom "mommy". Goodness, I wouldn't know what I'd do if I lost her - when I lose her. It's weird looking at her now and seeing the lines on her face and the wrinkles on her hands. God, I used to hold her hands so much as a child and admire them - how pretty, smooth, and lily white they were. We found old albums of hers from when she was in her 20s. Boy was she pretty. I was watching her as she flipped through the pages and you should've seen her face light up! She said, "When I was younger I would always wish for time to speed up because I couldn't wait to grow up. Now I wish it would slow down."
We looked through our baby albums and mom's smile glowed! You could see her just traveling back in time in her head. Time is crazy. I wonder if she ever gets scared the way I do. She believes in Heaven so she might not be as scared. And if she were she'd never show it. Every so often I wonder what it would be like. I told my best friend, Karen, about how I've been so scared of dying and asked what they thought it would be like. "It will be nice in the afterlife." She's spiritual as oppose to religious so she believes our spirits will turn into another energy and live on somehow. As for me, I broke away from my Catholic upbringing. And that's why I'm scared because I don't really know. It would be nice, though, if it were just like falling asleep and dreaming nice dreams, just very seamless and fluid.

Before I depress myself even more here's a little video I dug up of my mom from a year or 2 ago. We were discussing how I have a hard time winking and proceeded to go around the table and record ourselves winking. This was her attempt...




So badass!

guess who i get to meet tomorrow...

Yeah, Tony Hawk is coming into the office tomorrow for interviews. I hopefully plan on tugging him on the bottom of his shirt, looking up, asking him how tall he is, then ask to stand back-to-back or side-to-side to compare heights. ('Twas a common pastime when I came across the Bruin athletes during college). Photo op?

i think i'm turning japanese

Meet Nirf. I did at a Big City Rock/Everybody Else show @ the Roxy. One doesn't normally see a Japanese posse at one of these shows so naturally I felt compelled to have them in my life! Plus, I had some down time. C'mon, JAPANESE PUNK POSSE. I'm part cat so curiosity is in my blood!

I've hung out with them a handful of times and they are pretty redic. (Spending time with them is always an adventure. I LOVE FOREIGNERS!). What's even better is that they don't speak English very well. Sometimes I wonder how we understand each other. Alot of pantomiming, pens + paper, and patience. I've even kept the scraps of paper and bar napkins we've written on because it looks like a war map! Pictures of butterflies and phonetic spelling. I love it! Seriously, the napkins can be found on my fridge. Mementos of random evenings. And I love how they are up for anything! They have this innocent excitement! Like, we'll be at a bar and a song we all know comes on the jukebox and while I may start off hesitant they are totally belting the lyrics as best they can and dancing around. They are just totally excited and happy to be in this city. (They cried when they played @ the whiskey this past weekend).

You know what I also love? Their obsession with Nirvana and Foo Fighters (hence "NIRF"). That is what I love about music. We all may have a hard time trying to understand what the other is trying to say but music becomes this common denominator. That and good drinks.

(Look! It's my friend, Albie, and I dancin' in the front row from a few months ago. I didn't know this existed.)

They are playing in Little Tokyo this Friday at Judo Chop. It should be pretty wild and they are fun live. I'm still not sure if they're singing in English or Japanese and quite frankly I don't care. I mimic sounds just as fine. "Wahhhh wahhh wahhh wahh" just like when you're singing along to the radio and don't know the lyrics.

Little Tokyo will also mean hanging out at one of my favourite divey bars and 25cent karaoke (or is it $1? All i know is, there's always alot of quarters involved).

where there's smoke...

Smokers fascinate me! Everytime I see one I always wonder how they started/why they started. Sheer curiosity? Resorted to them during stressful situations? The ever popular "look cool" reason? Or maybe they are like one of my best friends who started smoking cigarettes to wean off weed.

I always wonder how they can spend so much money on carton after carton or how they survive during continental flights (seriously, 12 hours on Air France and my fellow (French) passengers are going to listen to the "no smoking in the bathrooms" rule? Oh please.) And what's up with the constant spitting? Ugh!

One thing that I do like about them is their sense of community and solidarity. No matter how hard up for cash they are and they're down to their last 2 cigs, they are still happy to oblige when someone bums a smoke. Camaraderie! Because when you bum off some total stranger later on you are guaranteed one.

Sometimes I wish I was a smoker for that sense of camaraderie. They are the "bad" ones who rebelled and are now addicts. There are commercials about them, the doomed. There are signs prohibiting them from doing what they love at certain places and having to submit to their cravings in designated areas. Negative stigma all around. Society bands against them. They are the "others". So they stick together! United! Leaving me sometimes wanting to be part of their unspoken secret societies! Be like Rachel from Friends who started smoking on the roof with her co-workers to get in on the "good" conversations and become buddy-buddy with her boss!

I'm at the laundrymat a few weeks ago. Everytime I go I always wonder if there will be some cute guy there and we'd strike up a conversation just like in the movies then we'd exchange numbers, meet for a drink - typical PG-13 shit. Lo and behold, sitting at one of the tables waiting for the spin cycle is this cute guy. Target locked. I'm thinking once I load my machine we'll end up talking some way or another. He goes outside to his car then stands out there for a bit. When I peek out the window to see where he is I see him light up. Oh great, a smoker. It's an automatic response (but realize alot of my friends and some (many lately) guys I'm attracted to happen to be smokers). If I were a smoker a perfect segue would be for me to go out there, bum a smoke, and conversation would naturally ensue. But I'm not, so it didn't. You know what did happen, though? Cute-girl-X goes outside, bums a smoke, and starts talking/flirting with him! That bitch! That white cigarette was her flag and planted it right in him. Claimed him! Of course! 20 minutes later she walks back in with a piece of paper and his digits, and so did he with hers. Of course!

Or how about the time I hung out with some guy and his friends whilst they were house-sitting. Every few minutes or so they would all get up, go outside, and stand/sit in a circle to smoke. Nothing much was said. They just smoked. This went on like clockwork and everytime I would just sit there playing with a leaf. It was either that or sit in the house alone. The situation was quite comical. Just picture this mini herd of smokers and the lone Liza trying to make conversation amongst strangers who hid behind their smoker walls. Awkward turtle moment if I ever saw one!

Maybe that is how many people start smoking - to fill the void of feeling left out. Seriously, where there are smokers there's company. If I smoked I'm sure I'd see my neighbours more often because the only times I see them is when they are out on their porch smoking or on the sidewalk smoking in their little old man posse. Same at shows. Alot of my friends spend half of their time outside smoking and hanging out with other friends who smoke.

Meh, not my cup of tea, though. Really, can you picture me constantly spitting? Seriously, the spitting...ugh! I'm a lady, dammit! I'll just pretend to smoke carrot sticks and incite conversation that way. Or carry around a Tankbook. Books that come in cig packs are pretty neat conversation pieces.
"Hey, can I bum a smoke?"
"Oh, sorry, this is actually Kafka..."
"Really? No kidding, eh?"
"Yeah. Weird, you'd have to wonder what Kafka would think of his work being put into a box that normally contains stuff that people buy to increase the chance of them slowly killing themselves..."

And that could spiral into a whole interesting thing... or transform into an awkward turtle.

the former

My blog used to live over yonder for the past 7 or so years and now I've moved here. It's better this way.