speechless

Most times I have no control of what I say...well, scratch that. I think it's really the poor execution. After I say things outloud it's like I can visualize these empty spaces that ought to be filled because all that's spewing out are these blunt chunks. And it's horrible. Maybe I just need more gusto. Maybe I need to take a speech class or conversation class because I am realising more and more that I also interrupt people and I just keep thinking how rude I must sound. Like, I will talk over them and cut them off. I also do this thing where I have these pauses because I will forget words. Just pause in mid-sentence a bit. Motherboard overload or something. It's so weird. And bad. Maybe it's nerves in certain situations? And to think I did public speaking in high school.

I'm just low on gusto.