a perfect stand still

i wish i could just write again - just unclog my writer's block and write. something beautiful and painful. i want to document now and many steps back and all my steps forward. but i got nothing but stopping to smile at how utterly wonderful and bloody and raw and true this is. and not even truly true because there is still so much more we hold under sleeves. they don't get it and i don't always get it either. but i do and it just is. and it could be more but not now. this is fine for now. because we know without saying. and we dance around it but we still dance. hidden in our little world of combinations. hearts are plump and whole. enveloped in beams. in our hands. we're done and undone. if you're wondering